With each passing menstrual cycle, the more at peace I become with my decision to have my reproductive organs removed. Being under thirty, from the outside looking in, it might seem like an insane decision, but for those who live with the agony of PMDD each month, for many of us, it is the most sane decision we have ever made. For the past decade of my life, I have felt as though I am out in the middle of the ocean drowning, and as I look to shore, I see everyone living their normal lives, nothing I want more, but every time I garner up enough strength to swim to shore, a giant red wave that is PMDD comes crashing down and washes me back out to sea. I scream for help, but nobody knows what to do, so they go back to living their lives on land. When you have a chronic invisible illness, the isolation is debilitating, and when you look well enough to live a normal life but are not actually well enough to do so, you have to become real comfortable with who you are and how you conduct your life; despite the crippling shame which accompanies PMDD. After years of feeling like an anomaly to the medical community, having this surgery gives me a sense of power in taking my life back. And after years of allowing others to have input on my body without ever asking me what is actually going on with my body. However, if it were not for the bravery of the PMDD warriors who fought this battle before me, I would not have the knowledge, courage, or understanding to do so. I forever salute you.
Sydney Herrera is a writer and dog mom living in Los Angeles